Youth Speaking Out
JANUARY 21, 2020
“Adults seem to forget that they were once youth with similar challenges”. This comment, more than anything else, reverberated in my mind. As the Children and Youth Advocate for the City of Thunder Bay during my 2014-2018 term as a City Councilor, I have had a chance to engage with and listen to youth and the struggles they face as they navigate their adolescence. In this article I will focus on the key points that the youth raised in many forums I participated and in many other interactions and discussions with me over the years.
The topics below were captured primarily in forums organized by the Regional Multicultural Youth Centre, the Lakehead Social Planning Council and other youth organizations in Thunder Bay region, with the intent of focusing on the issues of young people especially of those that are marginalized in our society. The comments below are a summary of those discussions.
Adult Relationship Breakdown at Home …
It is a relatively normal experience for teenagers to experience tension at home in their relationships with their parents. But the degree of tension can lead to a spiral of breakdown of trust that translates into "adults are not to be trusted"; whether they are relationships with adults at home, or at school with teachers, principals, coaches etc.
Teenagers that are on the edge of homelessness or dropping out of school feel that they are not being heard. They experience being treated like a child; adults think that they know everything. So when teens have legitimate issues ranging from opinions that matter, to speaking out about abuse or addictions, they are shut down.
Adults have the power. Teens are spoken down to. They are desperately looking for a relationship with adults built upon mutual respect, but they experience adults unable to handle a more evenly balanced relationship. As much as they find themselves in conflict, they want a relationship that is built upon trust.
…and at School
When frustration builds up at home, it gets carried over to life at school. Some speak out, talk back, and make themselves heard, only to find that they get suspended, kicked out.
Others get depressed, get stoned, don't go to school, and once again find themselves being suspended or kicked out. Some teens experience school as the source of anger and frustration; they don't fit in; they are not the academic, or the jock; they struggle with the work and don't understand why their experience is not being valued.
Thunder Bay finds many young people arriving from remote native communities to go to school. They arrive in an urban environment, often with no established networks of relationships. Some make their way through supports provided by the aboriginal network of supports and services, but others fall through the cracks.
Many young people don't find adults who want to know what they are really angry, or depressed about.
Where Can You Go When Home is Not Home Anymore?
Young people struggle with the decision to leave home. Some need to get out because it is not safe or healthy there; they are being abused physically, emotionally, sexually, but can't see the way out. They have no money and no way to get enough to live on their own. They don't fit the criteria for welfare and Ontario Works.
Others decide to leave. They find friends to live with. They just want to "hang out", break free of the rules, be in charge of their own time, no curfew. They are drawn to hang out with friends, people that they can talk to about anything as equals.
What Do You Do When You Get There?
If they look for a job and find work, it is usually low paying part time work. Sometimes they can find summer work, tree planting etc. Many drop out of school. It is too much to do school and keep the job going. Later they find that they work in dead end jobs, in situations where they are abused and taken advantage of.
They make very little money. They run into problems trying to get around on public transportation to their jobs and interviews. It is especially hard in winter when waiting in extremely cold weather on bus routes that are not direct, if there are any.
When they realize just how important getting an education is they try to go back to school, but they know they need something different than the high school they left. Balmoral Adult Day School has more than 600 students who register each year, but many of them don't complete the program.
Who Can Help Them Find Their Way?
Eventually they realize that they have dreams beyond "hanging out". They want to learn skills. They want to own a home and a truck, or graduate from college, or become a cartoonist.
And they begin looking for guides and mentors that can show them the way, that can help them set goals, make plans, overcome barriers, and move in the right direction.
Frank engaging with youth at the Prime Minister’s Youth Council roundtable discussions.
Conclusion
“Adults forget what it’s like to be young” was one comment that more than anything else struck a cord with me. I think it will resonate with many present day adults who grew up during the 60’s 70’s and 80’s. That was an era when they also felt alienated and not understood. They are now the adults. As we think back at our own youth, let us also contemplate on the comments of the youth of today with an open heart and an open mind, and help them become all that they can be.
